Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Nine Days Left

The Novena for this cycle is to write about what you would do if a doctor gave you only nine days to live.


Nine Days Left
An absurdly precise medical prediction
has left me, O’ Muse, only a novena of
days left to live. Sing through me Muse,
help me to perfect my days. Guide me
through the last of life, and grant me
a moment of simple joy in each day.
Day 9
"Boiling the Perfect Egg"
The white sphere cold in my palm,
the water raging in madness below,
is momentarily brought to its senses
by the plunge of a cold egg.
Three minutes and the magic
happens. Liquid turned solid,
a white corona surrounding
a solid, yellow sun. The shell
peels in great white chunks,
like tearing drywall from an old
house till the naked egg
lies quivering, yielding,
in my hand.
Day 8
"The Perfect Haircut"
“A number 2 all over,”
I tell the lady at Just-A-Cut.
She doesn’t know this will be
my Last-Just-A--Cut.
My baldness makes cutting
away what is already dead
an act possible to perfect,
its simplicity as beautiful
as the white, porcelain cup,
by the mirror before me,
in which rests
a black, plastic comb.

Day 7

"The Perfect Walk"

The moon behind me
my dog in front of me
no spider webs brush my face
no toads squish under my shoe
the pond thrums with secret life
a slight chill in the air
keeps the mosquitos
away and my dog and I
can walk for miles
and miles
and miles.


Day 6

“The Perfect Nap”

Today I shall make my bedroom
An inner sanctum, a refuge
from the sun’s afternoon
heat. I shall draw my curtains
across my windows and stifle
the voices in my mind. A good
nap is a luxury, a blessing
not to be wasted. Let the world
spin without for a couple of hours.
When I leave this world, will I count
the anxieties needlessly worried over,
or the peaceful hours under my covers?



Day 5

“The Perfect Memory”

Emotions cling to photographs
in the same way a single hair
on the floor gathers dust unto
itself. Photos in boxes, envelopes,
and half-finished albums litter my table top,
a shipwreck of memories washed ashore
by my tidal wave of efforts to find that
one photo, my most perfect memory,
you at the carnival,  bathed in neon light,
head thrown back, mouth open,
eyes full of delight as the cotton candy
jumps its cardboard cone and takes flight,
aided by a sudden breeze, and lands in your hair.
I know if I can find this picture, I will sleep tonight.
Your photo will be th charm that keeps the night
beasts, those twin hounds Anxiety and Regret,
chained to their trees for another night.


Day 4

“The Perfect Honey”

It is said the bee takes inventory of
her stock after that advance scout
of winter, the first frost, strikes.
She caps her combs, she counts her larvae,
she measures the royal jelly, she weighs
her honey, she clears the detritus of
summer from her hive. She seals
her home against the creeping cold,
and with her sisters huddles in a dense
ball of life, constantly churning, moving
from center to periphery, vibrating,
creating warmth to fight the pressing cold.

So shall I on this fourth day,
take stock of my life.  From what
people and books have I gathered
nectar, and how have a shared
the honey I have made. Have I
pollinated minds with new ideas?
Have I filled the honeycomb of
my life with supply enough
to nourish those who come after?

When my soul leaves to join
that eternal swarm, the pulsing,
vibrating, ball of life, forever
churning, forever cycling
from center to exterior and
back again, what warmth will
I bring, and what warmth will
I take? The hive of souls
awaits.


Day 3

“The Perfect Resting Place”

In lieu of speech and opposable thumbs,
God has granted- should they reach a
natural end to their lives- animals the
right to choose their final resting places.
Elephants shamble slowly down
dusty savannah trails to their graveyards.
Good dogs die with their master’s hand
resting on their heads, and cats slip into
shadows to  places unknown.
Squirrels cease their chattering
in leafy treetops,  and opossums
practice their death like method actors.
Rarely, is man given a choice. Our intelligence,
which is different from wisdom, keeps
us dying in sterile, white rooms, surrounded
by tubes, and the sounds of dementia
and mourning.

Grateful I am that the day of
my deliverance has been revealed
to me. My elephant’s graveyard,
which I approach, head down, shuffling,
will be an old recliner. A book shall
be on my lap, my dog shall be at
my feet, and I shall look out
my window, waiting for that
terrible beating of wings,
the approach of the unknown.
When it comes, may it find me
leaning forward in anticipation,
eager to know what comes next.


Day 2
“The Perfect Goodbye”
I shall double bag all my pornography
and take it to the trash-no one needs to find
that. I will write letters to loved ones and friends
asking for and granting forgiveness (they know
what they did and they know what I did). I will
max out my credit cards on Amazon ordering
extravagant gifts for those I love.
I will teach my dog how to order pizza
from Domino’s and leave him plenty of cash.
I will make a playlist of my favorite songs on
iTunes and listen to them all day. I will smoke a
last cigarette while watching the sunset from my porch.
I will read Walt Whitman and know that he is
somewhere
waiting
for me.


Day 1

“The Exit”

Wait. I have one more………

………………………………



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