Ria-Queen of the Asphalt Jungle

Some of the more keenly observant among the teeming multitudes that constitute my readership may notice a new link, called TheBigLife, on the right hand side of my blog. This is the Livejournal page of an old college friend of mine named Maria. In college we called her "Ria-Queen of the Asphalt Jungle," and she was one of my favorite people. She was a large person in both the physical sense and the spiritual sense. She had a bawdy sense of humor, and she was extremely funny without even trying. She would sometimes eat with me in the Commons area, and she would bring along her best friend at the time, Robin. I used to count how many times during the course of a meal she would say, "Robin, you bitch!"

One time Maria, Robin, and I went to a friend's graduation party in a town that was a three-hour hour drive from where we went to college. We drove Maria's car, which I think was a rusty old Volkswagen Rabbit. We spent most of the afternoon and evening at the party and it was quite late when we headed home. I drove, since I had not been drinking, and Maria and Robin slept in the back seat. Somehow, I got turned around and we ended up in an entirely different state. We almost ran out of gas. Actually, now that I think of it, we did run out of gas, and Maria taught me the fine art of siphoning gas. She was very forgiving when she didn't have to be, and I will always appreciate it.

Another favorite memory of mine is a video she made in college. Maria was overweight in college, as was I, and the video opens with Maria staring intently at the camera and declaiming, "In Nazi Germany, Hitler put the Jews into concentration camps and used their skin lampshades and their body fat to make soap. If I'd have been there, I guess I'd be a large box of Tide!"

Perhaps this example of her humor won't appeal to everyone, but Maria is an acquired taste, a sophisticated dish appreciated only by connoisseurs of humanity. I can't pretend we've stayed in close contact, but everyone once in awhile I will receive a message from her concerning her life or her two brilliant, gifted children. She's a special person. As a matter of fact, I think I will e-mail her now.